


I'll Crawl Home to Her

by lottielovebuzz



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Amnesia, Angst, Car Accidents, Doctor Claire Novak, F/F, Femslash, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Love Confessions, Teacher Hannah, Temporary Amnesia, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 19:25:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3621453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lottielovebuzz/pseuds/lottielovebuzz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>written for the prompt “ooh, can you write hannah/hael "I have amnesia and you say you’re my best friend but I keep on forgetting and thinking we’re lovers"? :D <3″ for elvencas on tumblr</i>
</p><p> </p><p>Hannah feels Hael's hand twitch under her own, the movement enough to draw her from her light slumber with a jerk. Her eyes fly open, heading straight to Hael's face which is still soft and slack with unconsciousness. Hannah swallows back any disappointment or thoughts that it was just her own finger moving. </p><p>It was Hael's finger, she knows it. Hael is awake, she knows that too. She just hasn't opened her eyes yet - maybe she's too tired to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Crawl Home to Her

Hannah feels Hael's hand twitch under her own, the movement enough to draw her from her light slumber with a jerk. Her eyes fly open, heading straight to Hael's face which is still soft and slack with unconsciousness. Hannah swallows back any disappointment or thoughts that it was just her own finger moving. 

It was Hael's finger, she knows it. Hael is _awake_ , she knows that too. She just hasn't opened her eyes yet - maybe she's too tired to. 

'Hael?' Hannah murmurs softly, reaching up to brush away a strand of her dark hair. She sees Hael's eyes twitch as her fingers brush her skin, and so she repeats her name, 'Hael?'

This time, the fluttering increases, before her eyes are blinking open and Hannah meets bright azure eyes a moment later. She smiles down at her friend, a wide beam that has the other woman slowly returning it - though there's something hidden in those blue depths that unsettles something in Hannah's stomach. 

'I'll go and get the doctor.' Hannah declares, before she turns and leaves Hael alone with her thoughts.

***

'What do you mean?' Hannah's voice is loud and insistent, edging on hysteria when the doctors finally leave Hael's room and pull her aside. 

_"I'm afraid Miss Jones has amnesia. I'm afraid I don't whether it's just a temporary symptom from the trauma of the car accident and the surgery afterwards, or whether it's more serious than that." The doctor had smiled at her, a sad, sympathetic smile. "I'm afraid we'll just have to wait and see."_

'I have already told you, Hannah,' she replies with only a hint of exasperation. She hands a chart off to a nurse and turns back to Hannah with a soft but stern expression. 'She has just woken up and I don't want to stress her with another MRI or CT scan. I will wait until she's recovered more before I even consider putting her through more invasive procedures.' 

She goes to walk away, brushing past Hannah who grabs ahold of her wrist and stops her. 'Does she remember me?' 

'In a sense.' The doctor replies before pulling her hand free. She does take Hannah's and give it a reassuring squeeze before she does, though. 'I must see my other patients, however, Hannah. I'll be back during rounds to check on her.'

Before Hannah can even protest she's gone, leaving Hannah alone outside Hael's room.

***

Hannah knocks on the door three times, before she lets herself inside. It had been three hours since the doctor had left her alone outside the room; three hours since she turned around and took off, heading to the canteen for some breathing space as she tried to process what the hell had happened to her friend - what it all meant. 

Now, she's here and ready to deal with it - to help her best friend in whatever way she could. 

'Hannah, right?' Hael's voice is weak as she asks the question, but Hannah nods her head and gives her a wide smile - much like the one she had gave Hael when she first woke up. 

Hannah closes the door behind her as she finally enters the room. 'I was worried you wouldn't remember me.' 

'I remember _you_.' Hael answers as she rights herself, draws herself up into a sitting position. 'I'm just not sure _how_. It's strange, though, I keep getting this image of us, entwined in a warm embrace and kissing… were we… were we lovers?' 

Hannah almost chokes, the words prompting a coughing fit that makes the most worried and concerned expression to appear on Hael's face. She manages to right herself, running a hand through her hair in a habit of nervousness she hasn't managed to shake.

She shakes her head. 'No, we weren't.' _Though I wished us to be_. 'We were best friends, though. Grew up together - I knew you when you were four and I was six. We played with each others dolls and held tea parties. We grew up and went to the same high school and we even picked the same college. Different courses, of course, but yeah.' 

Hannah stops as she sits down on the end of Hael's bed with a faltering smile. She looks at her clasped hands as she swallows again to try and gather her thoughts. 

'So… we're not dating?' 

Hannah shakes her head. 'No.' 

_Though I wish we were._

***

Hannah enters the room with a soft knock, bringing the flowers out from behind her back as she declares, 'I brought you flowers! Lilies, your favourite!' 

Hael beams at her as her eyes rake over the flowers in Hannah's hand, holding out her hand in order to beckon Hannah closer, which she complies to do, stepping up beside the bed as she hands the flowers to Hael. 

Hael brings them to her nose and inhales, the smile on her lips growing softer as she turns back to Hannah. She holds her hand out, waiting until Hannah has entwined her fingers through the gap before she tugs, bringing the other woman closer to her. 

Hannah loses her balance and winds up half on the bed, but that doesn't matter - not when Hael's lips are brushing against her own in a soft, hesitant kiss. 

But then Hael pulls away, biting her lip when she feel Hannah stiffen beneath her and it all comes flooding back to her like a tidal wave. She hisses out a curse. 

'I forgot. Sorry.' 

Hannah smiles and lies, 'Don't worry about it.' 

***

'She's not getting any better!' Hannah hisses, venom dripping from her lips with every word. 'Every time I tell her something, the next time I see her she has forgotten about it!'

'That's how amnesia works, Hannah! She's not going to recover overnight, and seeing as I still don't know what's wrong with her, I can't tell you how long it will be until she is better - if she ever will get better. I know it's hard, repeating yourself over and over again, but -'

'It's not that!' Hannah snaps, throwing her hands up in the air, before they lodge in her hair and grab fistfuls. She can't look at Dr. Novak anymore, but can feel the women's caring blue gaze upon her. 

When she doesn't reply, Claire prompts, 'Then what is it?' 

_She's giving me false hope. She thinks that we're lovers and when she gets better, that's all going to change. And I'm scared that I'm going to let my guard down - let myself believe this is real and it'll kill me when she snatches away when she's better. And I love her so much, and I couldn't hate her for destroying me._

Hannah shakes her head. 'Nothing.' 

***

Hannah sits, grading the papers of her students, letting Hael's quiet humming comfort her and centre her. She could get used to this - she could definitely get used to this. Sometimes, when she stops and lets the pen rest against her lips, and lets her eyes drift shut, she can imagine that they're not in a hospital, but in a house - _their_ house. 

Hannah would sit at the table, marking essays whilst Hael hummed and sang as she sketched out vague ideas for the gardens she had been comissioned to design. The house would be light and bright and the sun would shine in because that's what Hael loves most, and God, Hannah would love everything about their shared life. 

She's brought back to reality when the humming stops and the scratching of Hael's pencil disappears. 

Hannah blinks, sitting her pen down as she turns to Hael. 'What's wrong?'

Hael stares at her for a long time before she shakes her head and turns away. The pencil starts flying across the page once more, but Hannah knows better. She sits her grading aside and stands, moving until she hovers by the side of her friend's bed. 

'What's wrong?' She repeats, her tone more serious this time but it has its benefits, for Hael's hand stops and she sighs, shoulders slumping.

'Nothing. It's stupid really.' 

'Tell me.' Hannah prompts, a soft smile on her face. 

'I was just thinking… that I'd like to kiss you again.' Hael answers, her voice nothing but a whisper. Her eyes fall to her lap before they flicker to Hannah's face, which is frozen in shock. 'See, I told you it was stupid. Just forget I said any-'

She's cut off by Hannah's lips on hers, who purposefully ignores the whisper of _this is wrong_ that circles her head. 

***

Hannah barges by Claire, knocking into her shoulder as she does so, but she doesn't even care. She just wants to get to the room now. She'll find her later and apologise, but right now, she has something to deal with. 

'Don't upset her!' Dr. Novak calls but Hannah grinds her teeth together and shakes her head. She doesn't knock on the door this time, opting to just push it open and step inside. She doesn't close the door behind her; knows she won't be here for long. 

'When were you planning on telling me?' Hannah snaps, eyes narrowing at Hael. 

'Tell you what?' 

'Oh, quit the façade. I've just spoke to Dr. Novak - she told me that your memory has been _fine,_ that you've not forgotten a damn thing. That you got better a _week_ after woke up.' Hannah growls, her hands clenching into fists. 'Why didn't you tell me?' 

'I didn't… things were going so well and I just -'

She's cut off by Hannah's shrill laughter. '"Well"? I've been crying myself to sleep each night, thinking that you'll get your memory back and go back to just being my friend; I've been worrying that I've been taking advantage of you in such a vulnerable state. And you… you've been fine all this time. Why didn't you just _tell me?!'_

'I-' 

'I've been in love with you for years… why didn't you just tell me?' Hannah murmurs dejectedly, before she turns on her heels, not giving Hael a chance to answer and wreck her heart again. 

***

Hannah peers in through the crack of the door she's created. Hael is hunched over on her side, and she can hear the muffled sniffling that wrenches a hole on her heart. 

'I'm sorry.' Hannah declares as she steps into the room. She stands at the bottom of Hael's bed, not trusting herself to go any closer; fearing that Hael may send her away and not accept her apology. 'Everything I said, it was wrong and harsh and I shouldn't have said them. I was upset but that's no excuse.'

'I've been in love with you for years, too.' Hael declares softly. 'When I first woke up, I seriously couldn't remember much - what I told you, it was a dream I'd had many times. When I woke up I just thought it was true. And that week after it, things started to shift - you let me touch you more and I even got to kiss you. When things slowly came back, I thought if you knew you'd retreat and well, I didn't want that.' 

She looks down at her hands and heaves a sigh. 'I should have told you, I know, but I just… I love you Hannah, and I thought it was my only chance to get a glimpse of what our lives could have been like together.'

Hannah stares at her for a long time, tears welling in her eyes before she takes a step around Hael's bed, coming to stand directly beside her friend. 

'We can start again, y'know.' Hannah whispers, unable to speak any louder. 'You wouldn't need to pretend about that anymore.' 

Hael nods her head, taking Hannah's hand in hers and entwining their fingers together. 'I'd like that.' 

And Hannah just smiles down at her, drinking in azure eyes as Hael's free hand comes up to cup her cheek, before dragging her down for another slow kiss that sets both of their hearts on fire.

**Author's Note:**

> enjoying this fic?? I'd love you forever if you bought me a coffee!! ko-fi.com/cahwrites
> 
> i’m on [tumblr](http://runningwithshewolves.tumblr.com) and [facebook](https://www.facebook.com/pages/Lottielovebuzzs-Fanfiction/154475354679423)! come and say hi!!


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